I'm Not Dead

Obviously. I'm a lot older, though. In gay years, about seventy? Or so?

I have white hair.

And girl, I'm heavy. Shut it, bitches, I was born this way. Or not. Still, shut it.

And I'm still with The BF. The same one.

I'm still hanging out with the same friends. Ironically, the same ones I've made from this blog. And I've really only lost one (you know who you are!). I'm reading through some of the comments and omg I have known you guys for so long already? It feels like last year, sometimes, when I've met Sluttila in his bedroom (Don't! Even! Think!), Kitty at Duffy's Ceramic World, and so many others who have enriched me.

I suppose life is like that. It gets all sneaky and sunny and sexy and smelly and sweaty and sweet and before you know it you've lived another year, another ten years.

So lots of things are the same, and lots more are way different. For example, Facebook wasn't that big a deal when i first started this blog and now omg I can't stop refreshing every ten seconds. I have a whole host of Apple products which I keep buying like crack, because it IS crack, only more flashy and expensive and you can actually use it in front of your mother. In fact, Mummy Dearest is using my first-gen iPhone, actually.

There's been loss as well. My Dad, at age 71, due to cancer. It's strange, writing this because it's the first time I've actually put my grief down into words. I think about him almost every day, and there's things that remind me of him every day too. And it stabs you in the heart to think that you won't have anymore new memories of him, just old ones which fade like polaroids. But in fading, they also become more dreamlike, just like how pictures look better once Instagrammed. So those memories feel better too.

But I'm okay, as a whole, and so is Mummy Dearest, which is important.

And I've finally gotten over World of Warcraft, the other crack. It only took me like, five years but hey, progress! It's a slippery slope though, and it's still installed on my MacBook. I think Apple should buy over Activision-Blizzard and then it's really time to bow to our new overlord Steve Jobs. Yes, even you, Kitty.

Am I going to blog more? I hope so. I've always felt like I should write, and since it seems to be the only thing I'm marginally good at. And as I grow older, and see younger fuckers doing the things I used to do at the speed and precision I used to be able to do, I'm determined to not let this one thing pass me by.

So I'm not as funny as I used to be. And my vocabulary is shot, no thanks to autocomplete and Twitter. But I'll be damned if I don't at least try.

Also, don't pester me if you don't see an update after this. Shut it, bitches. It just means you'll get another update in another two years. Okay?